


monster, how should i feel?

by forged_in_darkness



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Blood, Bottom Josh Dun, Cannibalism, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Eventual Smut, Gore, Guts - Freeform, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kidnapping, M/M, Mentions Of Blurryface, More tags to be added, Sad, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempts, Top Tyler, You might cry, im in a bad place, implied referenced self harm, they're both sad, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:22:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27177161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forged_in_darkness/pseuds/forged_in_darkness
Summary: (title from monster, by meg and dia)i promise i will write a good description when i can think of one (let's see how long this will take: 10/23/2020)
Relationships: Josh Dun & Tyler Joseph, Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph
Kudos: 7





	1. can you save my heavydirtysoul?

**Author's Note:**

> alrighty, so. this book will have some trigger warnings. ill remind you at the beginning of each chapter what the warning is for.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooooook this mentions s/lf h/rm and some s/icidal thoughts, so please be careful

bored eyes look out the window of the second story. 

**_jump_ **

he looks away, and to his teacher. 

"joseph," _he hates his last name_ "i assume whatever you're looking at out there is more interesting than these equations?" 

"yes, it is actually. the rain is nice,"

students stare. 

"well, then can you solve this? if you can, you don't have to go to the dean's office. you're in college, you should know not to talk back like that," the teacher states. 

_**you gonna answer? or are you gonna give a smartass reply?** _

"shut up,"

"pardo-"

"the answer is 1/25x+2y,"  


he looks back out the window, knowing his answer is right. 

_**jump** _

_**/^^^^^^^^/** _

shoving things in his bag, purple hair walks out the room.

' _hate this place'_

he walks into the bathroom, dropping his bag on the floor. 

he hears breathing coming from a stall. 

heavy breathing. 

josh splashes water onto his face, getting his shirt wet. 

_**/^^^^^^^/** _

tyler hears someone enter the bathroom, but doesn't worry.

**_redredredred_ **

he thinks as the blade marks across his arm

_**in the bathroom huh? couldn't even wait until you got home? pathetic.** _

tyler sighs.

_shut up, blurry._

he hears the water running, and decides to wash his cuts and the blade, despite someone being out there. 

**_they won't care. no one pays attention to us._ **

_i know. that's why i'm doing it._

he picks up his bag and heads to the sinks.

_**that's josh. remember him?** _

_yes, i do. and i know who he is._

**_/^^^^^^^/_ **

it sounds stupid, but josh wasn't expecting to see tyler.

_he has to go to the bathroom too, idiot._

tyler stumbles to the sinks and josh sees the red. 

it flows down his arm, down the drain. it lightly stains the sink. 

"t-tyler-"

"josh,"

"uh, how have you been?" josh says, trying, and failing, to look away from the mesmerizing stream of red.

tyler looks at him through the mirror.

"how do you think?"

_that was rude, b._

**_i know. we're gonna be rude to him._ **

_but it wasn't his fault. he had nothing to do with it._

**_i don't care. his name was mentioned, he was a part of it._ **

_but i don't want to be upset with him, he didn't do any-_

**_fucking shut up. if i'm mad, we both are._ **


	2. i'll cure you of disease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoo trigger warning bc of tyjo's sc/rs and c/ts so be careful   
> some more plot todayyyyyy

josh is a little stunned about how tyler responded, but brushes it off. 

"uh," he stutters "s-sorry, ty," 

tyler, surprised at the old nickname, had a delayed response of "it's all good,"

tyler's done washing his cuts now, and pulls a bandage roll out of his bag, wrapping up his arm. 

"listen, josh," josh looks at him "what happened- you didn't- you-," tyler sighs "don't beat yourself up about it, ok? it was entirely my fault, you just happened to be my, and his, friend," he makes eye contact, cutting the bandage from the roll. he puts it back in his bag, zips it up, and sets it next to the sink. 

josh watches him, trying to suppress the memory that tyler mentioned. 

_i wanna be his friend again, blurryface. can we?_

**_you'll screw it up again._ **

_i want to try, if i screw it up i won't connect with him, or anyone, again. i'll be alone, like you want me to be._

blurryface thought it over.

 _ **seems like a good deal.**_ blurryface smirked. _**it'll hurt you more than if you didn't want to be his friend again, but, y'know, who am i to judge, hm?**_

coming out of his thoughts, tyler looked to josh. 

josh looked back.

"josh i-" _sigh_ "can we, like, reconnect? i- i miss you. i understand if you don't wanna, since, y'know, i _was_ the cause of a majorly traumatizing event,"

josh stared some more. 

tyler sighed, "right. well, i'll see ya around, josh,"

walking away, he heard josh mumble something.

"hm?" he said as he turned around. 

"i-i wanna try to be friends again. if it goes to hell, let's try to end it on better terms than last time. if we end it like this, it'll hurt us both more," josh said, carefully thinking about his words. 

tyler smiled, "still the same number?"

"yea,"

nod.

"see ya," 

he walked out the door, leaving josh alone.

josh looked in the mirror.

_did i make a good choice?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alrighty uh im not sure how i feel about this but yknow whatever ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	3. (s)he's the tear in my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF BL/OD, G/ORE, MENTIONS OF G/TS, AND C/TTING PEOPLE OPEN  
> AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, CANNABALISM  
> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA  
> YES I KNOW, I AM VERY FUCKED UP

josh stayed in the bathroom, shaking. the memories were coming back, whether he wanted them to or not. 

_**/^^^^^^^/** _

_josh walked into tyler's basement, not expecting to see what he saw._

_tyler was covered in blood, kneeling over a body._

_josh was horrified, even more so when he saw who it was._

_their friend, mark._

_judging by the smell, he could assume that he'd been down there for a while. a couple days, even. mark said he was going on a vacation for his summer break, and won't be in ohio at all._

_then how did tyler get to him?_

_the thought sickened him._

_mark's body was cut open from the neck, going down vertically to his belly button. his face was blank and void of emotions. his guts were pulled out. tyler had organized them next to the body, very neatly. there was blood all over tyler's mouth too, very obviously from eating him. there were bite marks and chunks taken out of him._

_tyler looked up from the body, eyes going wide._

_josh puked, getting it all over the body and tyler, before rushing out the basement and house._

_(he didn't do anything, like report to the police, because he was too traumatized and shocked)_

**_/^^^^^^^^/_ **

suddenly, being friends with tyler again seemed like a bad idea..


	4. i hear a second voice behind your tongue somehow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't think there's anything super triggering in here, but be careful.  
> the last paragraph is basically kidnapping and drugging, so that's probably the only trigger here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy im back with another chapter

josh was sacred. he knows he shouldn't be friends with tyler, but, despite everything, he misses him. 

he hopes tyler is out of the 'phase' he was in. 

but he knows it isn't a phase. 

/^^^^^^^^/

tyler checked his phone, standing outside the building. 

_4:57pm_

his guest would be out soon. 

he spotted josh, and waved him over.

"hey,"

"h-hi,"

tyler glanced at the door, quickly licking his lips. 

"wanna come over for dinner tonight?" he asked

 _he's gonna eat you_ josh's brain warned. 

going against what he thought, he said "sure. i'd love to,"

"cool," another glance "see you at...6? that work for you?"

"yep. and i'll get a cab over, so you have time to prepare dinner," josh replied. 

"cool," tyler repeated. "see you then,"

"see ya," josh said as he turned and walked away. 

just then, tyler's guest walked outside. 

he had to be quick with this. 

he repeated the steps in his head

_chloroform, bag, trunk, house._

_chloroform._

he ran behind them and drugged them.

_bag._

he put the bag over their head.

_trunk._

he threw them in the trunk.

_house._

he started the drive home. 

he hoped josh would like what he made for dinner. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos and comments  
> i love yall <3   
> stay safe, stay alive. |-/


	5. "For you, I'd go write a slick song just to show you the world"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya, guys. short chapter today. when im done with the book (still a while away), i'll probably combine all the chapters into one work, since most of them are really short, and probably don't need to be separate chapters :^)
> 
> i updated today bc i had motivation, but lost the flair earlier than i usually do. 
> 
> hence the short chapter. 
> 
> nevertheless, i hope yall enjoy :^)
> 
> -bug

josh was nervous. actually, thats an understatement. 

he was petrified. his brain said he wasn't alone, but, by god, he was petrified. 

_wonder what's for dinner..._

while josh was getting dressed up, tyler was... preparing.

****-****

as tyler finished cutting up his victim, a handsome boy named brendon that he's has his eyes on for a while, he wondered if josh will taste that it's human. 

hopefully not, or he's screwed. 

he was planning on making spaghetti, with meatballs. 

human meat, of course. 

god, he was nervous. 

terrified, even. 

but, he'd do anything to get josh to love him again, how they used to be. two happy boys. 

_"for you, i would get beat to smithereens.."_ he thought

_**no you wouldn't** _

_yes, i would. shut up._

**_gain his trust again. then, betray him. you know what i mean..._ **

_i-i can't. i won't. i love him too much to hurt him, blurry... please, don't make me hurt him.._

**_fine. but, you know it's gonna happen if he notices it's human. you can't avoid that._ **

_i know._

****-****

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked this. i'll update when i can :-)


End file.
